Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
