Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
