I showed him my bush... on skype.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
