Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
