He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
