We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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