She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
