I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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