I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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