And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
