Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
