but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
