There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
