I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
