Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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