You can't motorboat a personality
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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