we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
