It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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