last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
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