i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
