I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
