the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I think your dad took our porno
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize