Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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