sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
