I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
