i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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