hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
