I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
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