Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
