I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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