In the future we'll all be gay
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
