i permit you to call me
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
