Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
