Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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