Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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