i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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