The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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