I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
