I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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