fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize