Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
