yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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