Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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