Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
