Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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