if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
we have officially lost it.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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