So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
