I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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