but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
