There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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