i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Someone came in the potted fern
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
