is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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