So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
