The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
