Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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