he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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