ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
