he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Randomize
