Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize