Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
the day after is always just damage control
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
