check it out our google latitudes are spooning
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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