I just saw a hot homeless man
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
