I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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