All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
