I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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